Here is the latest from the Heretics Crusade newswire – not to be confused with the wire you find in the undergarments of… well never mind Virginia, you don’t need to know about that yet.
Anyway, here is the latest update on this story about a truck load of Monks attacked by a roadside bomb, or at least that is what hate mongering, psychopathic, name calling judgmental sites like Jihad Watch call it. I, Guy DeWhitney, know better and, I promise to bring you the TRUTH; just as soon as CAIR decides what it is for today!
This report comes from Ahzhiz Habib, of CAIR (Community Arrogantly Inciting Revolution) Los Angeles. According to my patron, um, friend, uh, according to my Habib, I mean Mr. Habib! Yes, according to Mister Habib he has actually spoken to the Imam of the Mosque attend by the men who are sought in connection with the alleged “bombing.” Once again we find that the Islamophobes have blown a simple, normal accident among neighbors as a “terrorist incident”!
These are the (un-named for security reasons) Imam’s own words:
“You see, our brothers came to greet the monks and have a barbecue in their honor…. I admit, in their zeal for reconciliation they forgot that the monks did not eat kabob. Nevertheless, the gesture was
sincere, if naive.
Once the brothers arrived at the roadside and began to assemble their new console barbecue from Jihad Depot they realized they had left the lamb at home. And so, they walked home to retrieve the all important, but unbeknownst to them useless, lamb.
I swear before god that all would have been well, barring a few nauseated and or offended monks, if the aforementioned sowers of discord had not chosen to attempt to cook a curry with haram ingredients on the already blessed barbecue in the absence of our blessed brothers. May I be stricken dead if I fail in my duty to Allah… as those trouble making monks did. The barbecue exploded. I saw this myself as I cooked my own kebab across the road.
Allah in His mercy slew only 2 of the dogs, I mean fellow citizens. It should be noted that the 2 soldiers were running toward the miscreants to attempt to stop the desecration but, they had paused to finish their cigarettes first and were too late to fully escape the wrath of Allah. It is with humility that the monks should recognise the Mercy of Allah in only killing two of their filthy number. It was a tragedy of their own making, though there are some who are convinced it was a Zionist provocation!”
And there you have it folks, nothing to see here after all, move along!
(I am sure Robert Spencer over at Jihad Watch knows my tongue was firmly in my cheek.)