Forget Honor Killing and Wife Beating the Real Problem for a Muslimah is Not Giggling

radical

Some days it is just too easy.  I only believe in hanging people with the ropes they have made willingly themselves, from trees they have planted and nurtured with care. This happens a lot more often than you might think, but, it is not often that I get to watch someone hang themselves, and have it be funny as well!

Today on MuslimMatters.org I saw a headline that grabbed my attention immediately. No, it was not about an honor killing, nor was it about wife beating or raging mobs being needed to assuage the honor of a teddy bear; this time it was about beards.

Yes, Virginia, I said beards.  It seems that not all Muslim women go for a tangle of food-encrusted weeds on the face of their lover; you just can’t figure women’s taste I guess. 

The author of the following poem… well, I will just let him explain for himself; I certainly could not twist him a finer rope:

Beauty in the Beard

by Tushar Imdad-ul-Haque Bhuiya (12th March 2001)

I came to eat dinner in my halls of residence one day last year when two sisters started laughing at me; I had some food stuck in my beard. They went on to innocently and honestly mock my beard saying it was messy, unnatural and unhygienic. Little did they know the rage that I felt as a result of this and I channeled this rage by unleashing my
anger through my pen and out came this poem.

Well, I am glad he channeled his rage; I do question his being so thin skinned that "rage" is what he considers a proper response; the burdens of devoutness are many,  guess hair-trigger rage is just the price you pay.

I performed this poem in the Leicester University/DMU Islamic Societies and Eid Celebration and it was received with much laughter and acclaim – Alhamdulillah. Due to popular demand and many requests I have decided to type my poem up and email it to my friends in Islam.

From the men, the women, both?

Glorified be He who beautifies women with long locks of hair
And Men with long beards
There is beauty in the beard
Aye, there is beauty in the beard!

When the lion roars all the animals submit
For the lion is the king of the jungle
The lion with its glorious mane
And a Muslim man grows his mane in pride
Showing the rest of humanity that he is to be respected
Can one imagine a lion without its mane?
Nay, thou canst not!
Then imagine a man without his beard

Frankly I find the idea of a man who needs a "mane" to feel "manly" or have "pride" as sad and silly as a woman who needs to hide behind seventeen different cosmetics to feel "female"!

Woe to worldly women who mock the beards so!
Desiring husbands with clean shaven faces
Woe to women who mock the Prophet’s Sunnah
In the name of hygiene, neatness and smooth texture
Indeed the women of this world cannot like the beard
But she who wants Paradise adores the beard!

I could not write better satire of the fundamentalist Muslim mind if I wanted!  Allah forbid that hygiene be significant; oh, right, He already has.

A beard is a gift given to man
Something only he can grow; a woman never can!

Women do not grow facial hair? Not entirely true. Clinging to this as a sign of your manliness? Entirely sad.

When he ponders, he gently strokes it;

Don’t the psychologists have things to say about people who constantly stroke/touch their face for comfort/reassurance?

When he eats, it stores food;
When he is with kids, they play with it adoringly;
When he is with his wife, she fondles it lovingly;
When the enemy see it, fear is struck in their hearts!
Ah! there is indeed beauty in the beard!

Sarcasm overload; I have nothing to add!

All the Prophets had beards – yes they did!
Muhammad had a beard – so big! so big!
All the companions had beards – o yes! o yes!
All the sages had beards – I know! I know!
All the wise have beards – tis true! tis true!
All the pious have beards – you see! you see!
All the Muslims have beards?! – if only! if only!

My public giggling safeties tripped out three stanzas ago! Now, excuse me for a moment, I have to explain to the household the source of my semi-hysterics…

Who did not have beards? The kafirun!
Who had clean shaven faces? The kafirun!
Who grew their moustaches? The kafirun!
“And what did our Prophet order?” I hear you ask
He ordered us to lengthen the beard and trim the moustache!
Lengthen the beard and trim the moustache!

The source of a beard’s "holiness" is merely that it is "not what the Kafirun" (us, that is) do? OOOOkay, fine! Moving on…

What greater reason that this can there be
The fact that our Prophet told us to see
That we make ourselves appear to the world
As full bearded men with honour untold

Muslims Gone Wild

O Muslim brother! Why do you desire to look like a woman
When your blessed facial hair is the difference between you and the opposite gender?

Try telling that to a Japanese martial artist, then run…

O poor Muslim brother! Why do you imitate the kafir
Instead of following the Prophet of Islam?

What were the words again; "hygiene, neatness and smooth texture"?

O silly Muslim sister! Why are you so blind?
Infatuated with Bollywood actors who have no mind!

Umm, my guess is they find them attractive

images imagesCABZNIYJ imagesq

Go figure!

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O wretched sister! Are you not scared of your choice?
You would rather have a feminine monkey instead of an exalted manly ape!

Given the Qur’an’s words about Jews I will bet that this line produced some double takes in the audience!

So indeed I love my beard
And adore the curls and tangles
Which no oil, gel or superglue can ever straighten
My glorious long, curly, messy, fluffy beard!
The playhouse for kids;
And the beloved of Allah!

Beloved of Allah because it is not like the Kafirun!

I may be rejected by worldly women because of this hair on my face
But who cares! For my Mum loves it and she puts all such sisters to disgrace!

Kinky!

Be patient Muslim brothers, who shun the trendy look for a Prophetic pose
Paradise with the wide eyed Houris is our final abode!!!!!

The final joke: With no "kafirun" in paradise I expect the Houris will demand that the scruffy shave upon arrival!

Deoband fatwa: It’s illegal for women to work, support family

 
theocracy
LUCKNOW:

Darul Uloom Deoband, the self-appointed guardian for Indian Muslims, in a Talibanesque fatwa that reeked of tribal patriarchy, has decreed that it is "haram" and illegal according to the Sharia for a family to accept a woman’s earnings. Clerics at the largest Sunni Muslim seminary after Cairo’s Al-Azhar said the decree flowed from the fact that the Sharia prohibited proximity of men and women in the workplace.

"It is unlawful (under the Sharia law) for Muslim women to work in the government or private sector where men and women work together and women have to talk with men frankly and without a veil," said the fatwa issued by a bench of three clerics. The decree was issued over the weekend, but became public late on Monday, seminary sources said.

At a time when there is a rising clamour for job quotas for Muslims in India and a yearning for progress in the community that sees itself as neglected, the fatwa, although unlikely to be heeded, is clearly detrimental.

Even the most conservative Islamic countries, which restrict activities of women, including preventing them from driving, do not bar women from working. At the peak of its power, the Taliban only barred women in professions like medicine from treating men and vice versa. But there was a never a blanket ban on working, although the mullahs made it amply clear that they would like to see the women confined to homes.

The fatwa, however, drew flak among other clerics.

"Men and women in Sharia are entitled to equal rights. If men follow the Sharia, there is no reason why women can’t work with them," said Rasheed, the Naib Imam of Lucknow’s main Eidgah Mosque in Aishbagh.

Mufti Maulana Khalid Rasheed of Darul Ifta Firangi Meheli — another radical Islamic body which also issues fatwas — criticized the Deoband fatwa as a retrograde restriction on Muslim women.

The fatwa was in response to a question whether Muslim women can take up government or private jobs and whether their salary should be termed as `halal’ (permissible under the Sharia) or `haram’ (forbidden).

Well-known Shia cleric Maulana Kalbe Jawwad, however, justified the fatwa. "Women in Islam are not supposed to go out and earn a living. It’s the responsibility of the males in the family," he said. "If a woman has to go for a job, she must make sure that the Sharia restrictions are not compromised," he added, citing the example of Iran, where Muslim women work in offices but have separate seating areas, away from their male counterparts.

In Lucknow, a city with strong secular and progressive traditions, where Muslim families train their daughters to be doctors, engineers and executives, there was a sense of shocked disbelief even in conservative quarters that such a decree could come from those who consider themselves to be advocates of the community.

"I am also a working woman and also ensure that my Sharia is not compromised," said Rukhsana, a lecturer at a girl’s college in Lucknow and a member of the executive committee of All India Muslim Personal Law Board (AIMPLB). "It’s not necessary that one would have to go against the Sharia when going to work."

"Name one Islamic country which does not have a national airline and does not hire airhostesses? If I know correctly, even the Saudi Airlines has hostesses and they don’t wear a veil," said Shabeena Parveen, a computer professional in the city.

Source: The times of India

UN Ignores Islam-based FGM, Honor Killings and Under-Aged Marriage

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Ever wonder why the UN Human Rights Commission doesn’t do much about violence against women?  This video of the commission’s meeting with a concerned NGO will explain it is painful detail: Simple explanation; Islam may not be linked with ANY bad “traditions”, period, end of statement.

Littman UN video rev 4 from Vlad Tepes on Vimeo.

Watch it all, it is worth it!  Get ready to applaud the “point of Order” by the German delegate!!!

Tears and fears made love and glory.

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I saw a poem today at islamgreatreligion that glorifys the condition of the traditional Muslimah.  As the rabid pro-female person that I am I had to do my own version of what it means to be Muslimah.

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The Slavery of a Muslimah Soul

Is Reflected Through Her Eyes

Eyes flowing with Tears unshed,
Growing resignation dimming the passion of her eyes.
Her “beauty” reduced to acts of servitude that degrade,
Overflowing with the need to comfort
The ones that deny her humanity.
She is like a blazing fire
Smothered beneath an ocean of inhumanity.
Her trust is to another’s strength,
Her slavery made glamorous;
Her ownership is preserved.
Taught to Fear Allah
She lives her life, each day; a rape of her soul.
Self worth for her comes from outside,
Her beauty a reflection of her service
With patience and kindness toward
Those who will tolerate nothing less from her.
As she gives each drop of love that remains in her soul,
Look into her eyes and see the tears unshed,
She owes you less than she is owed
For her soul is stronger than yours;
Her true beauty will only be seen
When her bondage ends, for the Love of Allah!